Date: Fri, 10 Jan 1997 00:58:52 -0500 (EST)
From: iac <iac@tangle.org>
To: urusei-yatsura@panda.com
Subject: hen na yume

After working on my fanfic and listening to The Phantom of the Opera on CD twice through, I had a very strange dream last night. See, the UY cast were going to make a movie of _The_Phantom_of_the_Opera_. And all the guys declared that Ataru should be the Phantom. And then Linda Lee showed up with the Andrew Lloyd Webber score and libretto by whoever it was by, and offered to produce the whole thing (with Megane as assistant director) so for some reason they all agreed. The hardest part was getting Rei to learn all of Piangi's lines. It was almost as hard as everything else put together. The second hardest part was convincing Ataru that the Phantom was *not* supposed to glomph onto either Carlotta or Madame Giry. (The third hardest part was convincing him to act seductive towards Lum as Christine Daae.)

Then Sakura, Shinobu, and Lum had to convince the guys that Ataru needed makeup to play the part of the Phantom. Then Mr. Fujinami kicked up a fuss about Ryuunosuke playing the part of Meg Giry, although everyone said they needed somebody who looked like Sakura's daughter. Linda Lee tied him up with the extra Punjab lasso.

Then nobody wanted to be Firmin or Andre, so Sakura had to talk Onsen-Mark and Tsubame into taking the parts. Then Ran went homicidal over the fact that she, as the Countess, was supposed to kiss Lum (playing Christine playing Serafimo). She was told several times to fake it. Finally Oyuki suggested that Lum put a strip of some stuff that molds itself to skin and takes on the color of whatever it's put on over her lips.

Then Lum complained over the fact that she, as Christine, was supposed to sing a love duet with Shuutarou as Raoul. Linda told her to shut her eyes and pretend it was Darling. Then Shinobu asked how come she only got to understudy Lum and move the scenery around, and everyone had to placate her. (They offered her Sarah in _Guys_and_Dolls_.)

Then Ataru got mad that at the end of the "Point of No Return" song he was supposed to sing "Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime" to Lum. Then Lum had to be convinced that she had to unmask the Phantom *before* he finished the song.

And finally, at the end, it seemed that neither Ataru nor Mendou had read the script carefully, since neither of them had realized that Christine was supposed to *kiss* the Phantom. Finally, by virtue of Benten pointing her gun to miss Mendou (so that, with her aim, she'd probably hit him) and Linda promising Ataru to introduce him to five of the most beautiful women she knew plus a copy of the best of Cream Lemon, they managed to get neither of the men to resist.

(It actually worked out pretty well... Lum kissed him and for a moment he just stood there, then his arms started to curve around her, and then he pulled them back with visible effort, brought his hands to her shoulders, and pushed her away before burning through the rope around Mendou's neck. The whole ending went well, except for the fact that Lum needed to be convinced that she was actually supposed to obey the Phantom's last command and go off with Raoul.)

Weird dream, huh? Anyone else have dreams like this?

Sincerely,
Luriko-Ysabeth
hon otaku
Sosai/Pooh-Bah for life of the Washuu-sensei Rules Club
mild itinericula
member of the #SkAS#

"But I claim there will be some who remember us when we are gone."
--Sappho of Mytilene